Genes.

I have this favorite pair of Jeans.  They don't ride too high, or too low.  They fit just right in all the right places.  They are comfortable and well worn in.  I love my Jeans, they are always there for me - like an old friend - and they've never failed me.  Not once.

When it comes to my genes - I too feel like I inherited a healthy mixture of both mom and dad which have made me who I am today, unique and undeniably me.  I get my eye color from my mother, but passed a blue eye recessive gene to my daughters.  My height comes from both my parents (and to call it height really is a laughable understatement - thanks guys.) My hair color, skin tone, and crooked bump on my left ear - they can all be explained by genetics.  And, they can all be seen in my children as well.

Genes are a funny thing.  Just like my favorite pair of levis, they can bring comfort in knowing who you are and where you came from.  Genes can explain the unexplainable.  In some cases Genes can give you a window into a possible future.

Back when I discovered Lumpy and Lumpy Jr. I was asked if I wanted to undergo genetic testing to find out if I carried what is called the BRCA1 and or BRCA2 gene mutations. I thought about it at the time, but considering that Lumpy and Lumpy Jr. were benign I pushed the genetics to the back of my head to be ignored until a later date.  (I know, I'm kind of good at that kind of stuff though - if it weren't for procrastination, I'd get nothing done...until tomorrow.)  It's because of procrastination that I put off my mammogram follow up that the doctor kept sending me nagging letters about.  It's because of genetics that I finally went in. 

You already know that my sister is a survivor - what you don't know is that both of my maternal great grandmothers battled and lost this fight.  My cousin (maternal side as well) is a survivor.  My mother has had a scare or two.  So, when my doctor brought up the genetic testing a second time (once I finally went in for that mammogram a few weeks ago - and they found another cause for suspicion) I didn't think twice.  It probably also helped that she didn't give me much of a choice and had the nurse there to draw blood right then and there.

I don't have the results yet.  I was going to wait until I did to write this post, but I've been thinking and researching and trying to plot my next move.  You see, if I have the BRCA gene, then that changes the game completely.  Does having the gene mean I am absolutely going to develop breast cancer?  No, it doesn't at all.  In fact NOT having it does not mean I'm completely safe from this horrid disease.  However, if I do have it, then there is no question as to what to do next.  All I have to do is look at my five beautiful little children and know that if I do something pre-emptively I significantly reduce my chances of having to fight this later on.

I don't like tests. I have never been a fan of tests I can't study for.  I've already said  I'm not a wait and see person - so this waiting is driving me crazy.  But, as a mother, my instinct is to protect my young.  I will do whatever it takes.  And knowing will help me do that, and prepare them for their futures as well - four of my children are girls.

I get my eye color from my mother.  My height from my father and my mother.  I have some musical abilities passed down from my grandparents to my parents to me.  I've shared these traits with my children and see it in them every time I look at them or hear them speak.  These genes were all traits that I was happy to wait and see if they developed.  BRCA is not one of those.  Like I said, I'm not a wait and see person.